Humor

The Trim That Cracked Me Up

I love grooming and learning new things to keep it interesting. And it is always so much fun meeting the people we become friends with through the internet in person, and friends of friends who then become your friend. On this particular weekend I decided to spend some time with longtime friend and fellow groomer Helen Schaefer and attend a workshop on Asian Style grooming that was being hosted at Smoochie Pooch Salon in Portage, Indiana where Helen was working.
The Face-Off of a Matted Dog

On this not so busy day, one of the new clients was a very matted mixed breed dog named Sandy. Most of Sandy’s coat was severely matted and would need to be stripped down with a 7f, only a portion of his back and bits of his head were not matted.
A Funny Thing Happend…

Grooming Matters
When working with people and animals, amusing things can happen. Sometimes those things don’t seem so funny at the time, but given a little space and room to breathe, they can become great stories.
Are You Listening?

I have been grooming Classy for four years. She is usually a pretty laid back Peke-mix until you get to her face. That is our routine every 6 weeks.
Classy’s father fell ill, and her grooming routine was put on hold for several months. I received a call from her mom, wanting to get her back on track. As I backed Proud Mary into the driveway.

Birkenstock Betty

On particular mornings, the sun beams, a choir of birds serenade, and my soul is full of boundless optimism and goodwill toward my fellow earthly inhabitants. Then there are those mornings. Those mornings, which more often than not, fall on Saturdays. Mornings where I emerge already depleted over a work week and just pray to get through this last day as smoothly as possible.

Shake, Rattle & Roll

Blame it on being a veterinarian. Most people would conjure up images of Bill Haley and His Comets or the movie Footloose when they hear the phrase ‘Shake, Rattle and Roll’. I envision quivering cockers and trembling tabbies. Admittedly there are pets that truly seem to enjoy coming to my office, so I don’t take these panicky pets personally. I would however love it if all of my patients and their caregivers didn’t quake in their bobby socks when they entered my hospital.

To Work Or Not to Work

I would probably be the CDC’s worst nightmare. I am one of those who goes to work no matter how high the fever, how sore the throat and/or how delirious I am from the flu. I could single handedly infect the entire western half of the state with my germs.

Afraid? Who, Me?

After 30 plus years of grooming you would think that I’ve pretty much seen it all as far as unwilling grooming customers. I’ve certainly had my share of dog owners who don’t want to give up their precious pet for an hour or two as they get groomed. Honestly, you’d think they were sacrificing their first born when they have to leave them with me for a bath and haircut.

Have I Got a Gift for You!

It’s the second Friday of the month. The second one always starts out pretty much the same as the one two weeks later. You see, twice each month on Fridays I have a lady who brings in her Terrier mix for his appointment. Along with the dog comes a bag of treats. Not for the dog, but rather for me.

A New Perspective

From Guest Columnist Nani WunderPoodle!
Good day, my professional grooming friends, it is I, Nani WunderPoodle. My human, Missi Salzberg, asked me to step in and write an article for GTG as a guest writer, and I am happy to oblige. You see, dogs have a different perspective on the world than you humans,

Mike Rowe Gets Creative with the Queen of Color

Recently we had the pleasure of meeting Mike Rowe as he was filming episodes for his new show “Somebody’s Gotta Do It” that airs at 9PM Wednesday nights on CNN. The new show is about people and the passion they have for a job or hobby. And we all know that I am passionate about animals and Creative Styling.

The Seaweed is Always Greener

“The seaweed is always greener… in somebody else’s lake. You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake.” Ok, admit it, you started singing along too, no? Disney songs have always had a special place in my heart, especially The Little Mermaid and I am physically incapable of not singing along when I hear the music.

There Should be a Cream for That!

The majority of my clients are wonderful blessings; dear people that are the back bone of my business and allow me to support my family. And then there is my hemorrhoid, Ms. B., a preverbal pain in my rear, whom even after liberal medical treatment just seems to pop back up at the worst time.

You Know You Are a Dog Groomer When…

You can predict that when a customer asks for a full-fledged Poodle “Bikini Clip” on their Cocker Spaniel, the dog will inevitably wind up with a bout of Colitis that necessitates a Veterinary visit. Of course the waiting room will be full of other clients and EVERYBODY will want to know where the lady gets her dog clipped.

Crazy Daisy

Into everyone’s life a little crazy must fall. In my case, the crazy would be a Yorkie named Daisy. Or as we know her, “Crazy Daisy.” You know the type. This dog is a true adrenalin junkie.

Dog Swap?

If you’ve been grooming for more than a few years (or decades) you know how there are times when you forget a clients name or dog. Even though you keep records of your clients either via computer and/or paper, there are times when you still get befuddled. At least I’ll admit that I do. My brain can only handle so many Muffies, Fluffies, Buffies and Duffies.

The Scarf Lady

Several years ago, I started making dog collars and scarves in my spare time. Back then, my “spare time” consisted of allowing myself a handful of hours each week in the craft room. The scarves that I make are, for the most part, extremely colorful. I search high and low for the perfect fabrics that really grab attention. I will admit that I am a glitter freak. If it sparkles and shines, I’ve gotta use it.

Brat? Not Me!

We all know that we love our dogs. I’m sure you wouldn’t be reading this magazine or this story for that matter if you didn’t love dogs. We also know that we’ll put up with one heck of a lot for the sake of our furry friends.

I Love Big Dogs

Without a doubt, one of Lou’s all-time favorite phrases is “I love big dogs.” She says this when she comes in, takes one long look at the day’s appointments, and sees that there is a preponderance of big dogs coming in. By a preponderance, I mean more than one.

So Long!

Apparently my career in the dog grooming world is coming to an end. I don’t know the exact date, however, as no one has informed me yet. I rely on the “Doggie Grapevine” to let me know the scoop on the poop.

A Tail of Two Cities

As dog groomers, every once in a while we run into a special situation that makes us go “Eww!” Whether it be the poopy bums, the bleeding and oozy growths, or the owners that cannot resist calling their dogs deliciously sexy. What to do? Take pictures? Yes! Call your groomer friends?

Take a Picture

I have been grooming dogs for 31 years now. I have often wondered just how many toenails I’ve clipped (not counting my own, of course), how many anal glands I’ve squeezed, how many Poodle feet I have shaved… The list goes on and on.

That Crazy Nail Lady

Although there are times when I just can’t, I usually take walk-ins for nail cutting. Last Wednesday was a particularly busy day, and I was letting the answering machine pick up quite a few calls as I tried to stay on schedule with all of the appointments.
At one point, the phone rang, and I let it go to the machine. The person hung up. A split second later, it rang again, and I still didn’t answer.